It's the feeling of fingers wrapping around your throat when you force yourself to say goodbye even though you don't want to.
You have to.
Because you deserve to have someone change for you as much as you change for them. You deserve to get the first phone call, not just the call-backs. Not just the answers but rather the questions. Yes, I would like to see you tonight. Yes, 8-o-clock is fine.
But you do not deserve to be treated like less. You know how it ends, you know what you'll have to face. You know what it will do to your confidence, your fight. It will dismantle it, year after year. But what does he know? Parents who love, rarely fight? Parents who were so clearly meant for each other. He does not know how luck it is to have that in his life. He will never understand what it is like for the rest of us, sitting here, wondering what happened? What would have happened if she walked out after the window? After the coat rack? He will never have to worry about what will happen when he leaves. What will happened when she is alone to fight.
I will not turn out like them. I will not put myself in a position where I will become her. Broken, beaten, doing it for the kids. I deserve more than that. I deserve someone who will treat me better than just a wife.
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